Attempting Dialogue

In my last post I mentioned that I avoid dialogue but I didn’t mention that I have found ways to co-habitate with skeptics which I think is worth mentioning.

C.S. Lewis attempted to dialogue with the skeptics but I think in this day and age his arguments would not be all that effective. Chronicles of Narnia’s intricate weaving of myth and the Christian story my come close for some people, but we live in a society that has disconnected its stories to reality. The real world is very separate from our escapisim TV media world.  I see most people just trying to survive their job and their demands and they don’t take the time to connect their beliefs with the life they live. I also see a world where people are tired of being preached to and the emphasis is on “whatever makes you happy and can get you some money”. That is what I see as culture of the younger generations. The heavy beats of the rap music with repetitive lyrics that numb you into a hedonistic bliss of consciousness.

What I do see working is by practicing faith by my own example. People at work know that I am a Christian and they watch what I am doing. One staff from an early point in time made it known that he was an atheist. My response to him was something like “That’s great, I admire someone who is confident in their beliefs”. I recall him voluntarily telling me that he had seen much damage in his childhood that occurred on account of religion. I believed I responded by sympathizing with his issues. Now two years later we still get along and he has been a good team player that I can count on in times of crisis. My tactic is to build relationships, respect, and dialogue about healing the wounds first before we jump ahead into a new vision of Christianity. I see so many wounds that need to be dealt with which take priority over intellectual banter. Here is where, I try to be an example of love and compassion. My hope is that when people feel love and compassion they will carry that with them and want to pass it on to others and hopefully grow in their practice of faith even if they don’t believe in God.

Another example was when a girl at work was very vocal about her faith as an atheist. She hated religion and she hated me for being so naive about the whole subject. She was a smart kid who had a lot of the “Bill Mar” teachings which she often went out of her way to explain to me. I never argued with her and always changed the subject. As I got to know her better I found out that her mom was a devout catholic who had committed suicide. I then understood a little more where she was coming from. I had a friend once who’s brother committed suicide and the catholic church refused to conduct the burial. It was a very emotionally traumatic experience for him and his family. Thihnking back to that experience, I often talked to the girl I work with about things that were important to her and tried to help her find meaning in her life in simple ways, like a favourite song, or coffee flavour or  video game etc.

Recently I went over for dinner and the subject came up again about religion. I changed the subject strategically in favour of what one girl at the table had said. She had said something like “God never talks to me”. So I went with that part of the conversation and said ” You know that my grandma said once that God spoke to her”. The group looked at me and frowned. I told them the story and everyone listened. Then the girl who was atheist spoke up and said “Apparently my little nephew claims that my mom came to him in a dream and told him that Jesus was in his heart”. So I didn’t make a big deal about the topic but I just smiled and said something like “wow, what a great story”. Then the religion debate fizzled and no one knew what to say after that. We changed the topic and I knew that the girl would be remembering her story after having told it to people. I believe it was a sacred story that was helping her build her identity. The great mystery continues…

Forgiveness

Fallen angel

In the book, The Weight of Glory, Lewis speaks about forgiveness and says:

“This is hard. It is perhaps not so hard to forgive a single great injury. But to forgive the incessant provocations of daily life – to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife, the selfish daughter, the deceitful son – how can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night ‘forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.’ We are offered forgiveness on no other terms. To refuse it is to refuse God’s mercy for ourselves. There is no hint of exceptions and God means what He says.”

When I read the above, it didn’t sit well with me. I wondered if Lewis had lead a very privileged life in some ways to be able to take such a difficult topic of forgiveness and simplify it to say that it must be done in all circumstances. Has Lewis ever experienced the incessant bullying of a husband?  I think this is dangerous territory to tell people that they must forgive without explaining to them HOW to do that. Also, doesn’t God forgive us for not forgiving sometimes? Maybe we are overreacting when we start telling people that they must forgive all circumstances. Often the guilt of holding the resentment is worse than holding the resentment. Maybe we need to let go of these lofty expectations for ourselves to be perfect before we take steps towards forgiveness. Some women might interpret his statement to say that forgiveness means accepting their husband’s bullying. If they don’t, then they may take on the guilt of their non- forgiveness which is easy to do when someone is a victim in the cycle of abuse.

I agree with Lewis that there is a need for forgiveness in our world and that this is as a key Christian concept. I just think more intelligent dialogue on what exactly is forgiveness and how is one forgiven. In a society that is so wounded from hate, fear, blame, abuse, greed etc. It is too idealistic to sit on the sidelines of situations where major suffering has occured and say “just go up to the person who did you wrong and give them a big hug”.  It just doesn’t work because forgiveness needs to be real.

I have struggled with forgiving people in my life and still think back to a very troubled childhood marred in suffering. How do you forgive a physically and emotionally abuse mother who wishes you were never born? Especially when she has never said she was sorry for her behaviour or her comments. She denies making abusive comments because she is a rageaholic who blacks out and can’t remember what she had said about hating you and telling you to move out.

Today she continues to live a self-destructing and self-medicated lifestyle and gives no indication that her behaviour has changed or will change. Approximately ten  years ago we had an argument and I told her I never want to see her again. She never argued with my request and that request has held true ever since. The last straw was when her ex-drug dealer/boyfriend broke into her house and stole my grandmother’s $5,000.00 engagement ring that was given to me from my deceased grandmother as her dying wish. My mom filed an insurance claim for the ring and kept the money she reclaimed for herself. She never apoligised for her contribution to my loss in this matter or otherwise. (my mom has the ring because I had recently moved out of university and needed a safe place to store my things while I moved into my new apartment).

My mom’s sisters believed that I should just forgive her and forget everything. But I could not. I became tired of being abused and the low self-esteem and anxiety that came with it. I wanted to heal and be apart of a lifestyle and behaviour that was in agreement with my teaching, values, and aspirations. I was tired of being made fun of and put down, teased, threatened, attacked, blamed, hit, manipulated, told I was going to jail etc etc. So I split the relationship. Let it go. Said Goodbye.

The next few years were mixed with periods of regret, loneliness, and a need for intense focus on my future. I spent time praying and my anxiety went away and I felt better overall. But… I often asked myself if I was making the right choice leaving such a key relationship. Unfortunately, the extended family took my mom’s side and so I was also left out of my family Christmas gatherings etc.  Still, my belief in healing outweighed my willingness to re-enter the enmeshed family system.

Peace came when someone wise told me “forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting”. After thinking about this for some time I realized that my separation didn’t mean that I was angry, it meant that I was fighting for life in general, that I was stepping away from the anger. I slowly learned that forgiveness didn’t mean that one has to re-subject themselves to abuse over and over again. Needless suffering is not what forgiveness is about. Forgiveness is about ourselves first. Forgiving our own limitations in a situation in the intention that we wished we didn’t have limitations.  But we are human and unfortunately we  simply just can not rise to the occasion because we have been so wounded that we need space to allow healing and growth from the wound. When the perpetrator doesn’t want to acknowledge thier abusive behaviour, it is very difficult to forgive.

Also, emotions are not that easily controlled. Emotions are smart and they will carry a truth longer than your mind can rationalize. Words are not enough to truly forgive. It takes much depth of character and much work to truly forgive. It takes compassion, understanding, self awareness, courage, deep strength, resiliency, boundaries, a safety net, self care, faith, and various energy connections to truly forgive. What if the other person comes back at you with a rejection of your forgiveness? Are you able to forgive this also? What would you say and do then?

I do forgive my mom for my childhood in a way because I know it was hard for her to be a single mom. But it gets complicated in terms of what is a mental illness and what is just pure evil choices on a person’s part. You must know the difference to forgive so you can re-engage a relationship accordingly and safely. I forgive myself for not re-engaging in a relationship with my mom however ideal it would be to do so. But I hope that someday, if not a re-united family, at least  I will gain some understanding on the poor choices my parents made all those years ago. Maybe true forgiveness comes in heaven.

Being Wormwood or Being Erica?

“Being Erica” is a popular CBC TV drama I like to watch for its thought provoking insight into holistic well being. The main character Erica (as seen above) participates in a new time travelling [fictional] form of therapy that helps her thrive in her life so that she can become a therapist. I would consider the “therapy” Erica undergoes as spiritual at its core since its purpose is to instil a sense of value and meaning into a person’s journey, which includes the emotional component. However, the word spirituality is never mentioned and there is no God factor to the healing equation. Much to my surprise, the therapist Dr. Tom (also seen above) quotes C.S. Lewis in the last episode.

Erica’s Therapist was trying to help Erica cope with her colleague, Julianne, who had a mean streak and lashed out to people working below her. Erica goes back in time to see where Julianne’s flawed behaviour started and realized that her colleague felt threatened by anyone who had talent. Erica realizes that Julianne was insecure, but she still didn’t understand why her colleague was so jealous and threatened by others despite the fact that she has a very successful career. Erica’s therapist responds to Erica’s puzzling dilemma by saying “Feelings rarely make any sort of rational sence until we understand why we have them.” Then her therapist quotes C.S. Lewis “With the possible exception of the equator everything begins somewhere. -C.S. Lewis“. In response, Erica talks to her colleague and discovers the source of her insecurity. The colleague then confronts her own insecurities at their source which enables her to release her destructive behaviour.

I am not sure which book of Lewis’ this quote came from but I thought is was fitting for the situation presented in the episode. Perhaps the show’s writers randomly searched quotes on the internet and happened upon a C.S. Lewis quote. C.S. Lewis is, after all, a popular source of quotations. The internet has several pages dedicated to his quotes. The Therapist in the show uses many such quotes in his discussions with Erica, usually from very famous historical philosophers, gurus, etc.

The therapy used in the show does not have a specific origin from any religious or psychological tradition but picks and chooses little bits of theory from many traditions. The methodology largely involves Erica letting go of her past regrets by allowing her to revisit her past and attempt to make better choices, only to find that it is the choices in and of themselves make a person who they are regardless if they are right or wrong.

The therapist in this so called “therapy” gives Erica almost exactly the opposite instructions that Screwtape gives to Wormwood in The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Screwtape’s instruction to Wormwood is “Do remember you are there to fuddle him” which is in contrast to the Therapist’s instructions to Erica to remember that “you are your patient” among many other opposing teachings. But there are similarities in that they are both insights into human nature from different angles. Both are written in the format of advice from an expert to a expert in training. Anyone watching or reading either of these stories can identify with the everyday situations brought forth and thus feeling in some way connected to the characters.

One difference between them is the advice of Wormwood is meant to be evil, and the advice of Dr. Tom is meant to be good. Another difference is that The Screwtape letters tends to suggest that evil comes from a source outside of ourselves that encourages us to think or act wrongly. However the Being Erica perspective suggests that when someone is doing something unhealthy, bad, or perhaps “evil” (even though it isn’t called “evil”), it is a human manifestation of an untransformed pain. I think the Being Erica form of therapy has its ties to the theory of the “shadow side”. Dr. Tom says “Everyone has the capacity to do both good and evil”. He looks at a person’s “evil” to shed light on it through understanding which eliminates the evil immediately.

When I got to thinking that there is a lot in common between this show and C.S. Lewis, I found this quote from tv.com:

 “A magical corridor filled with doors leading to different Erica-worlds alludes to the 1955 C.S. Lewis classic fantasy novel, The Magician’s Nephew, wherein two children, Digory and Polly, find themselves in a sleepy, narcotic wood which is filled with pools. The children surmise that the wood is a “wood between the worlds” and that each pool leads to a proper universe – so, seeking adventure, they jump into one of the pools.”

Aha, I knew it! CS Lewis has clearly influenced this show in many different ways. I think the biggest way though is perhaps in a creative sense. I am starting to get a feel for a very creative side to Lewis after reading The Great Divorce. I can now see how that novel also has a thread of similarity with “Being Erica”. Maybe the writers of “Being Erica” are in fact Christian.

In The Great Divorce I was a bit perplexed by Lewis’ comments in the preface saying “The last thing I wish is to arouse factual curiosity about the details of the afterworld“. His book is a story about the afterworld and gives some very good and familial allegories of the afterlife that overlap with other things I have read. Now I know that Lewis was not systematic in his theology nor attempting to be but I couldn’t help wondering what he was trying to say about the afterlife when he wrote this book.

However, the wonderful thing about this book is also the free licence to be creative with his ideas perhaps just for the love of writing, perhaps just for the sake of stirring the pot, perhaps for the joy of possibility in the world that exists. Lewis has everything from unicorns, lizards, spirits and ghosts in this book. What could be more random than two velvet footed lions bouncing into open space? But the thing is that this free licence paves the way for safe exploration into the unknown. I think Being Erica also is somewhat random in its ideas of therapy and in other ways not. However, the show is explicitly not trying to follow a pre-existing system of therapy. I have to thank C.S. Lewis for paving the way of creative imagination as a part of the truth that exists in the world. I thank Being Erica for inspiring me with another form of creative imagination that also speaks a form of truth to me.

So where does that place me in the realm of skepticism and Christianity? Somewhere in the grey. I am sad that Being Erica has left out a transcendent element in the process of healing and of evil. I  do think that there is another world apart from the empirical that exists around us and is present with us and would like to see Being Erica delve a little on this level. But I love the “therapy” in Being Erica and would probably sign up for a session if I had the chance in real life. The principles of the “therapy” are in keeping with many principles of Clinical Pastoral Education. Perhaps the Screwtape letters isn’t so far off from Being Erica in that it exposes the shadow side in all of us and the book is really trying to be honest about our human nature.

No moral standards = economic crisis

In light of our class mentioning Calvin and Hobbes with regard to the Screwtape letters,  I thought I would post this random comic I incidentallycame accross on Facebook today.

Perhaps the scenerio in this comic was what Lewis might have been envisioning before he made these remarks from the Business of Heaven, The Law of Human Nature:

People say things like that (what Calvin said) everyday, educated people,…and children. Now what interests me about all these remarks is that the man who makes them is not merely saying that the other man’s behaviour does not happen to please him. He is appealing to some kind of standard of behaviour which he expects the other man to know about. And the other man very seldom replies; “To hell with your standard”…It looks as if in fact very much as if both parties had in mind some kind of Law or rule of fair play or decemt behaviour or morality or whatever you like to call it, about which they really agreed.

Lewis is trying to say that we all have a standard value system by which we impose on ourselves naturally.  He is also implicitly saying the the Christian way is about  applying  standard values on other people as well as on ourselves. Lewis is rebuking the common idea of his time, that common human nature laws are subjective.

I also chose this comic because the point is so relavant to our world today although it was written 20 years ago. The comic strip highlights the current economic moral conflict we are going through as a society. We each expect certain wages and then some as a part of our “right” but we don’t apply that “right”  to others.

Corporate Christianity (tangent)

A definition of Compassion:

Compassion comes from the Latin “com” and “passio,” to suffer with or suffer alongside. Compassion is solidarity with our fellow human beings and the whole created order in their brokenness and need. Rev. Gabriel Salguero                                                                                                       

I remember a few years ago my  Atheist friend always saying that she hated Christianity because “they likened themselves to sheep”! She would walk around the office going “bahhh, Bahhh” I think just to upset me and make the idea of a sheep religion seem ridicilious.

“Why would I want to be a sheep?” she would say. “Sheep are followers, I want to be a leader”.

I didn’t know how to respond. I had never thought of myself as a sheep. But I did like the idea that humans were very vulnerable creatures that needed to rely in a higher source to be sustained. So thus a sheep was an appropriate symbol for humans to understand. But when you think about it, Sheep are not the smartest of animals. I had also never really been around many sheep in my life. This animal was not relevant to my world. They are not the most interesting of all the animals. They are also a very domesticated animal which seems a  little unexciting and human influenced.

Sheep are almost like drones who just do what they are told and are used mainly for their wool coat. I can’t imagine God corralling us humans into a pen for his on personal materialistic needs. Nowadays with the corporate approach to farming, I don’t think sheep are loved individually by their master. Sheep are generally kept in check by machines and Dogs and I don’t see too many shepherds hooks kicking around the barns these days.

I find it hard to explain to the kids at work why we have images of sheep in all the Christian Children’s stories. It’s just not something they find to be sacred or interesting. The sheep goes part and parcel with all the other idealisms that Christianity represents with the nice little steeple church that they can colour in the lines and feel they are doing the right thing.

Maybe the image of the sheep has contributed to the Christian compliance with the corporate movement I was talking about in my previous blog. Maybe it all comes down to the sheep, a monoculture of sheep that are modified apart from nature  to the mass production of materialism.

Is a sheep the best animal to represent Christianity?

Here is an example, I used to attend a Mennonite church when I was younger. Their was a major emphasis on participation in the church, on committees, on Church growth, on being accountable to your community, and on the beliefs of the church. I believed in these things and worked very hard in high school to belong and to contribute to what I see now as “the machine”.  I was on Church council among other committees as well as youth group co-president.  And then my dad got sick. He had a heart attack and subsequently triple bypass surgery when I was in grade 12. My parents had been divorced since I was 4, my dad was single  and faced with recovery of his heart all on his own in the country while I lived in the city with my mom. He was on disability and did not have many supports. It made me very sad to see him suffering.

In Church we talked about happy things and their was much competition by the youth for their skills. Who has the most beautiful voice, who was the smartest, who came from the most wealthily family, Who’s family knew who’s (the mennonite game). I felt very inferior since my family didn’t attend church and my family was divorced. I would try to put on a happy face and look strong and keep contributing, however there came a point where I felt very lonely and empty inside. Who was helping me? Who cared for me?  Why did I deserve to be loved?

I was baptized only to find my non- mennonite name spelled wrong on the baptismal papers. I felt like I was not accepted for who I was. After my slow decline in attendance I realized that no one cared. My appointed big sister moved away without saying goodbye and my mailbox was changed without anyone questioning my absence from church. When I reappeared, no one seemed to care.

However, a few years later I received a call saying that a committee was formed to create a survey on why youth were leaving the church and they needed my help in completing the survey. The person who called I knew from church council but he didn’t even ask me how I was. He was more concerned that “the machine” wasn’t operating right. That was the same week my dad with his illness was left homeless, sleeping out of his car near the beach. The corporate Christian message that church was giving me felt devoid of compassion for individual.

To me, the church seemed more interested in the perfection of worship then it was on being accountable to the needs of it’s members. In this case and likely many others, Christianity has lost it’s priority on values and placed it’s emphasis on science, control, and power. This is the fault of the evolution of Christianity which has focused on issues of Theology, Cosmology, Ontology to defend itself since the early church. The church forgot the purpose religion holds for our greater society and for idividuals which is practicing values. Values such as Compassion, Being Kind, Relationship, Individuality need to bring religions together not apart. If it’s not the role of religion to bring the practice of compassion to the world then who’s role is it?

Science is also looking at compassion from a different angle. There is a web page called “Heart Math” which is dedicated to the health statistics when someone practices compassion.  Apparently science now shows that practicing compassion is good for your heart and your seratonin levels and our hearts carry memory. Wow, science will soon have their own churches of health and compassion!

If the church doesn’t start getting on board with the new secular world of compassion practice it is going to be left behind secular society. The problem was never religion versus science to begin with, the problem was that religion forgot it’s purpose which is in harmony with science. Both the Church and Science can be corrupted by power and control and amoral practices. Both the Church and science could be improved by drawing in the ancient religious teachings of basic values and practicing them. Primarily  the practice of compassion for compassion’s sake.

Compassion: Society’s Forgotten Value

You are probably wondering what took me so long to post my blog since I said I would be posting weekly. I do apologize however my dad was in the hospital and it was a really crazy week. I left things hanging with a bold statement saying God is basically found with the poor and the abused. Before I explain myself on this one, I have another topic festering in my mind to discuss this week based on the week’s unfolding events. Where has all the compassion gone in society?

“That Hideous Strength” by C.S. Lewis was read in between hospital visits, cat and dog sitting, allergy treatments, and practicing a play with the kids at work. I was hoping the book would enlighten me with a Christian/sci-fi perspective on the issue of compassion.  Instead, the book raised some good prophetic issues regarding the destructive path on which that society of the time could be heading. Lewis symbolically painted a grim picture of what can happen when humans try to control too much of the world through power under the disguise of science. Lewis is not blaming science for the issues of control and destruction however he is questioning the relationship of science and religion.

I noticed that the NICE institute, as depicted in the book, lacked compassion. Similarly, many corporations today I experience and hear about certainly lack much compassion for their employees and clients. I was surprised though that the book’s ending didn’t resolve the problem of lack of compassion in the NICE institute. However I did see the use of compassion as the solution the main characters learned as a tool to resolve their rocky marriage in the end. So the book does speak to the value of compassion on a certain level. I thought maybe compassion could have been used also as a tool to deploy onto the NICE institute as a solution to curb their need for control.

“That Hideous Strength”  was written in 1945, so it is impressive that Lewis clued into this concerning corporate need for control movement  already back then as seen through his depiction of  the “evil” N.I.C.E. institute.  In today’s secular society we see how corporations have way more power than they ever used to, buying up property, and influencing government decisions. Many books and news articles have been written especially lately about concerns with the corporate take over of America.

If you ever get a chance to watch the  hilarious and satirical NBC sitcom called “Better off Ted” you would be alarmed at the similiarities the show has with this book. You would clearly understand  that the institute called Veridian Dynamics was a large science based invention company that was really just out for power and does not hold any moral concern exactly like the NICE institute in the book.I am also impressed with Lewis’s ability to be relevant to our time. His style of satire is in keeping with many shows on TV now.

The moral thread I see missing in both secular companies, Veridian Dynamics, and  N.I.C.E., institute is compassion. Power and control are the main goals of both companies. Both the book and the show exemplify how scary these companies can be when they lack compassion. Is the lack of compassion related to the lack of religion in society? Does Religion build compassion?

It seems like everywhere I turn there is an example of the compassion void. Road-rage is another example.  I just bought my first car this year. I am now being introduced to the driving phenomena of road-rage. I have never received so much bad karma through swears and mean hand gestures as I do now while driving. NO, I am NOT a bad driver, It’s just that people turn into monsters on the road. I can’t believe this! For example, this morning someone purposely boxed me out of his lane as 8:30am in the morning on a low traffic lazy Saturday. When I tried to drive faster, he drove faster so I couldn’t turn into his lane, when I slowed down, he slowed down. I couldn’t believe that this was really happening and these kind of road bullies exist. I was shocked. What motive would someone have to go out of their way to be mean? I recall C.S. Lewis saying in Mere Christianity that people don’t go out of their way just to be mean. That people always have a motive of control or power. After this experience of road rage I am beginning to believe that some people just like to do mean things.

The work setting is the worst for a lack of compassion. I know of stories lately where people have been “let go” of their job, just to make way for the bosses’ friend to have a job. Where people have been yelled at and humuliated  in front of their colleagues for no reason. I saw an opportunity where an employee had the chance to help a child in a big way and turned it down  just do the minimum at work so as not to get fired. In the hospital I had a social worker bark orders at me on how to deal with my dad who was sick when she had never even met him (St. Boniface hospital)!  I had a psychiatrist who said he couldn’t help my father with the appropriate supports he needed because his test scores didn’t fit with his behaviour. The widely used corporate cognitive test didn’t fit my dad’s situation. “Ooops sorry” he says. “There is nothing I can do”. And so the suffering continues…

Lewis in this book doesn’t really suggest a compassionate God. He uses images of Merlin who fights on the side of Good and yet is to be feared and revered. So now I am left wondering what Lewis thought about the need for compassion?

This skeptic is toast.

I just re-read my previous blog and decided that it sounded a little too serious, so this blog I decided to go with a more relaxed style of conversation which is more fun to write. It’s hard to write to an unidentified audience so I will just try to be myself.

In a recent class we watched Bill Maher in his ridiculous “Religulous” movie. Wow, what a strong character! He’s likeable and yet can be smug, and at times even manipulative! I love the old shtick of using humour to mask your true feelings. Hmmm, that’s never been done before in low brow comedy! [sarcasm intended]

Anyways, this modern day skeptic is very black and white with his views. He does a good job in the movie of depicting and desecrating some ludicrous people who try to explain religion. I applaud his movie because it was well made and entertaining, but I don’t have respect for a comedian that picks such easy targets as truckers in a drive-through church. Come on, that’s like making a movie about a dog’s temperament and then putting a steak in front of a beaten pitbull. Too easy. Entertaining but not realistic.

Bill, don’t you know that religion is just the container for spirituality? Well I know you don’t because I could see hints of your spirituality in the film. Your short sighted hedonistic tendencies point to an empty space that a container can’t hold. I wonder if you are wounded? Many people are wounded by religion and the first thing that they do is put up a wall. Maybe you did too? What really happened in your life that was so painful that led you to make fun of others and to put them down? What is the emotional truth of your situation?

I believe there is logic and then there is truth. Truth includes logic, but that is only one component. Truth includes mind, body, spirit and emotion. Bill, I don’t believe you were speaking from your truth. Truth comes from a relaxed, joyful, peaceful, expression of human contentment. In the film, all I saw was a distancing form of humour where people’s comments were heavily edited. I think if the Creator had shown up in person during the filming sessions in a glowing light saying to you “I am God and you must believe me”‘ you would have edited that out too. Such a shame. [I wonder if it is tiring to edit out God all the time?]

Having recently read “Mere Christianity”, I agree with C.S. Lewis who is saying that one must make themselves vulnerable to experience God. He also said that faith is to be experienced. These are two theological points that relate to my spiritual leanings. Our culture has swayed heavily into the mind and we have denied the value of the human being so mainstream viewers will not perceive a flaw in Bill’s process. I didn’t believe in religion during my Theology school days because the questions just lead to a dark tunnel of more questions. The mystery just got bigger and bigger and I stopped seeing the logic in a God that I didn’t ever experience.

It was only later in life when I was travelling and was put in several desperate situations whereby I needed God was I able to open myself up to experiencing a presence that was helping me beyond logic. Seeing God through the compassion of others was the start of a long inner journey into the mystery and the shades of grey. Only then could I begin to explain the unexplainable.

Bill, I dare you to come with me to the gang-infested streets where the poor and sexually exploited live, and then say that God doesn’t exist. But unfortunately you would have to be humble, and humility would probably cramp your ego style. You are immersed in a society that doesn’t need God.

Origin of name

Wolf and Wardrobe are two words not typically used to succinctly illustrate the Christian message. I chose them carefully as my blog title because they do have several meanings for me as a Christian and my thoughts/feelings about our current culture. We will get into these thoughts/feelings in more detail in my weekly posts to come. However, I also chose the blog title because they have  meaning to the author whom I am about to embark upon a journey studying over the next 6 months in University.

The author is C.S. Lewis who wrote The Chronicles of Narnia. He was an very influencial author of many theological books and who loved Nordic Mythology. He would have appreciated and understood the large role the wolf plays in the many Nordic myths of the time as well as in the Bible. If he was alive today perhaps the blog title would have invoked his curious sence of imagination.

As I sort through C.S.Lewis’s writings some 50 years past publishing, I hope to appreciate his love of myth and see if and how he incorporated/reconciled this love into his theology. In so doing, I hope to be inspired to think about my own faith and write about my experience in our pluralistic society.

I am speaking from a Christian faith perspective although I do incorporate many other experiences and viewpoints into this perspective. For example, I was also recently given a spirit name by a Cree Elder which was a profound experience. In English my name translates to Morning Wolf.  At some point I would like to tangent into the meaning of wolf as my spirit name and my Christian Theology as well. Obviously I am intrigued by the layers of meaning the wolf holds in many cultures.

Thank you for taking an interest in this wild and wacky adventure into the unknown. Please send comments if anything catches your attention.